28 Reasons Why You Can't Take Care of Your Parents
And
28 Reasons Why You Can

Need some great strategies to begin a discussion with your parents?

The following parent care conversation starter along with great ideas to get you thinking on the right path are taken directly from the top selling book, The Parent Care Conversation written by Dan Taylor. Please review the author's byline and copyright and re-print information at the bottom of this article.

Part Two - The next 7 of 28 ...

Reason #8

At the risk of simultaneously displaying my relationship or emotional I.Q. skill deficits and offending at least half the free world’s psychiatric community, I would just tell you to do one thing: Get past it. Build a bridge. Get over it If it’s easy, do it easy. If it’s hard, do it hard. Just get it done. Get out of the ‘you never loved me', 'I didn’t get a wagon', 'You liked Suzy better' psychobabble swamp. Realize that some things can be fixed. Some can’t.

Talk about what you can redesign, not what you can’t. Talk about the future not the past. Your best efforts in the past will only get up to zero in the relationship rehab business. You can create a completely new family structure by focusing on the future.

There is no scientific evidence, no empirical studies and no best evidence that a thorough analysis of the past gives you a better future. Here’s what gives you a better future ... a better future.

Focus on the privilege, the challenges, the honor, perhaps even the duty of helping your parents at this junction of their life. My experience has been that most issues disappear into the thin air they belong to once the adult diapers go on and the respirator is attached.

REASON #9

OK, then don’t.

REASON #10

Well, aren’t you special. Perhaps the rest of your life, including the end of it, will be spared any undue stress, or agony, or pain. Perhaps you just golf or go play tennis forever in a place where the grass is always green, the sky is always blue, and the children and the dogs clean up after themselves. Perhaps you just move to Lake Woebegone now.

What about this instead ... what about growing up and sucking it up. What about realizing this isn’t about you and your hurt but about them and their care. What about stepping into a role of leadership, relationship, and creativity that brings confidence to this situation. What about being that person that deep down your parents hoped you would become when they invested all the time, money, energy and love they did in creating who you’ve become. What about using this as an opportunity to grow and develop your reserves of character, strength, and integrity.

What about doing anything but whining.

REASON #11

I have never been good with money and would be afraid to advise my parents about what to do or to be responsible for all the decisions.

John Wayne and John Rambo are the only two characters that did everything alone. The rest of us mortals need some help. The Parent Care Conversation has been designed to let you work with your family’s group of advisors as the facilitator to utilize their years of wisdom and experience to maximize your parent’s future situation. The conversations, forms and information are all relatively easy to use.

We have created a new professional designation and training: The Parent Care Specialist. The Parent Care Specialist is someone from a professional background such as law, accounting, health services, social work, or financial services who has been trained in the methodology of The Six Conversations as well as The Parent Care Solution unique process. You may find out more about Parent Care Specialists by going to our website Parent Care Solution to review a current list of PCS Professionals.

REASON #12

In the financial area of life, the issue of trust really comes down to a fear of losing money. The fear of losing money is usually turned into a reality of losing money by working with or purchasing things through people who will be paid whether their solution works or not.

A Parent Care Specialist has been specifically trained in not only the Six Conversations but in the ability to gather and coordinate with the help of other professionals all the financial, legal, estate, insurance, and investment information about your parents lives.

Because a Parent Care Specialist has been trained to offer this service on a fee basis, it becomes easier to make assumptions about their motives and intent in making recommendations.

REASON #13

Well, you may have it all done and you may not. I don’t know your specific situation and can’t comment on whether what you’ve done will work for you or not.

What I do know is that The Parent Care Solution process has been designed to provide a comprehensive, integrated strategy capable of being implemented by you and your advisors with the help of a Parent Care Specialist

REASON #14

It may not be able to at all. It may be that your parents made many of the important decisions prior to entering the facility and everything is well taken care of.

Our experience has been that even though parents are in a facility, many of the day to day decisions do not create the best experience for your parents. In addition, many parents have not made the necessary financial or legal decisions to fully protect themselves and preserve their property, privacy, and person from the complicated consequences associated with aging.

REASON #15

The Parent Care Solution process has been designed to work in partnership with a Parent Care Specialist who does have the training, background, and experience to discuss the more integrated issues of parent care.

The background you have that is most important is the one of years of being in relationship with your parents. Presumably you are interested in The Parent Care Solution because you have a genuine concern for the long-term care and well being of your parents. A past history of caring is a huge advantage in beginning the conversations about your future relationship.

About the Author

Dan is an attorney by training, the author of four additional books and over 60 articles on aging, personal finances, and family legacy planning. He speaks both nationally and internationally on these topics as well as working closely with such national organizations as HomeInstead and Partners In Care.

His company, The Parent Care Solution, focuses on the solutions for individuals and companies dealing with the challenges of caregiving for aging parents both individually and with their employees. His simple, straightforward, yet caring approach has earned him accolades in the United States and Canada for the effectiveness in dealing with such a delicate issue.

Dan is committed to the self-sufficiency and autonomy of both parents and children in the aging process and has created both a liberating set of conversations and a flexible, adaptable structure through The Parent Care Solution for meeting the changing and evolving needs of aging parents and their children.

The Parent Care Solution is the proud sponsor of North Carolina Senior Approved Services

This is part two of a four part series.
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